Phone eNews

With this, the 400th edition of Phone eNews, I regretfully must warn readers of the end of the impending end of the Phone eNews era. In view of a probable McSame victory in November, I am expecting fantastic financial rewards from the next big financial bubble, susistence farming. I'm investing heavily in an Ohio company that produces one bottom plows with harnesses fitted for the average American housewife. We've contracted that exercise guy, Richard Simmons, to do a video, "Plowing to the Oldies." A McSame spokesman stated, "Nothing in John Dwight's Supreme Court nominations will interfere with this. We are against leather for kinky sex, not as an aid for women taking their rightful place as productive members of American society."

---

This item was called in to Phone eNews by fellow invester James Dobson, who paid the McSame campaign millions to get in on the ground floor of this.