Phone eNews - Ted Stevens' Last EarMark

Washington, DC - Mitch McConnel, Republican Leader in the Senate, today defended defended an earmark attached by indicted Republican Senator Ted Stevens to an appropriations bill, that provides $250 Million (same ast the famous Bridge to NoWhere) for a special high security annex to a prison in nearby rural Maryland. "This is not a frill. Although it is not expected to have to house more than a dozen Republican Senators, we need excess capacity just in case and the conference areas for Republican Caucus Meetings is essential." Convicted felon and Republican prison expert, Charles Colson, further explained that earlier plans for a wing of VIP suites using existing common areas for prisoners would expose Republican Senators to tauting and catcalls from prisoners "who often don't look like our people," adding that "They look more like our expected opponent. Anyhow, no existing prison had sufficient wet walls for the vast array of tubes needed to keep the Senators on line with Mat Drudge and Faux News."

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This item was called in to Phone eNews by Scooter Libby who admits that he would not have been afraid to serve time in a special prison inhabited by elderly Republican Senators that he could outrun.