Phone eNews - Republican Health Care Proposal

Washington, DC - The anxiously awaited Republican plan to fix the problems with American health care have been released. Important provisions include free pickle jars for grass roots fund raising of money for juvenile kidney transplants, to be paid for by selling the naming rights to public buildings. The high bidder for the Building of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare so far is United Health Care, the insurance company most known for turning down health coverage for Terry Schiavo because they ruled that death was a previously existing condition.

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This item was called in posthumorously by "Little Snot Nose Johnny" who was not well liked and didn't get enough change in his pickel jar to receive a new kidney.